Sex and Devotion
Attending a sex fair is always an interesting and inspiring experience. Getting lost in dildos and other sexual tools of unknown use raises your curiosity, but also disgust. At least mine. I am aware of various fetishes and obsessions in the present world. I myself explore sexuality and I am open to new experiences. But looking at extreme devices that are supposed to give “pleasure” and people with a keen interest in this subject raises a question in me. Is sexuality totally objectified in our times? When do we have such a selection of things that can give us physical ejaculation, where do we find an emotional orgasm?
Although this post is not directly connected to Sugar Dating, I still think that sex is such a big part of any relationship, so this topic needs to be touched.
I like the idea of saving myself for that one special person. I don’t know if it comes from having a traditional family or my own understanding of respect for oneself. I like to feel that I have something unique to offer to which not many men have access to. The men that I would share my sexuality with should feel honored and appreciate my choice.
I am not interested in empty, physical sex with many partners. I think it doesn’t bring anything to our lives. Opening the animalistic side of our sexuality, of course, triggers desires but does not help to evolve emotionally. I have tried both types of sex. When a man is with me and I don’t feel any mental connection with him, it is just an action. Like riding a bike. It does not bring me any pleasure or elation. I never got stimulated by this kind of situation. On the contrary, a man in the mode of an animal is disgusting to me.
What is the purpose of empty sex? Is this supposed to bring relief and liberation? I certainly do not feel more open. On the contrary, physical sex closes me and brings me sadness. Many women join in the mode of satisfying sexual needs because they have a high libido (I do not know what it means) or to cut themselves off from everyday life. In my case, I do get cut off, but only from what I really want.
What do I really want? Making love. Not only in sexual life, but also in everyday life. When a man is your lover, your friend, and your partner, he touches all of your spheres. He touches your body, brain and soul. When he kisses you, he releases such strong feelings like being high. When he enters you, you feel like a home for his pleasure. You want him to stay inside you. That special connection can be created out of love and respect for another person, not from animalistic desires. Several times in my life I experienced a peaking and such deep a devotion that I opened an Eden.
When I feel the endless love, I become an extremely loyal person. I cannot imagine sharing this special space with anyone. Having other sexual partners becomes irrelevant, and to me a lack of a sexual life is much more satisfying than empty sexuality. I love to be devoted to one man. Having this special space which I can only offer to him. I do not know why, but it makes me proud of myself. I feel special and proud of myself.
My emotional and sexual devotion can seem boring and traditional for some people. Nowadays, we have an easy access to the exploration of any kind of sexuality. But I’m not closed for exploration which can give me and my primary partner a new energy. I believe that discovering can be very healthy for a relationship. We grow and come closer to each other as partners, the openness brings energy to the relationship, and then the devotion of the other partner is appreciated. However, to me this is an option only when I feel confident and there is a total peace in my relationship. I would never be able to share my partner without total trust. It will never happen if I am pushed into it. It must come from my heart, from my soul and from my desire.
I am very curious in the depths of my soul if I can find such a partner.