Some breakups are sad and quiet. Some are loud and dramatic. But getting over a breakup, totally and universally, sucks. Especially if you’re the one being broken up with. But there’s at least one positive thing in all this, and it is the fact that you’re looking for ways to get over it. Which means that you’re on the right track and have it in you to get through this.
The feelings we have when our relationships hit a dead end can be very different. The actions that pack the power to help us to get through separation are, in fact, pretty much universal. These five simple and trusted strategies have the potential to help you move on in the most graceful, productive and healthy way possible. Ready? Let’s go!
Now is the perfect time to ask yourself a simple question: have I been taking care of myself and prioritized my own needs while in a relationship? Chances are, your answer is a strong “no” or a weak “kind of.” Which means now you have the opportunity to catch up on prioritizing yourself and doing things YOU want to do. Like some single life habits you abandoned, like regularly visiting the gym or meeting a friend for a drink. Now you can get back to your own self and do things that make YOU happy, like redecorating your apartment, listening to a new podcast, or joining a yoga class again. Stop defining yourself by the person you used to be with. This is your story, and you’re in charge.
Just like the essential areas of your life and personality mentioned earlier, friendships might be also something you didn’t prioritize as much. When our romantic relationship becomes more serious, we don’t put as much time and effort into our friendships. We know it’s a mistake, but we make it anyway. When we’re single, we have more time to meet our friends and our social life is blossoming. And then we find a romantic partner and suddenly weekends are for him. Now that you’re single again, rebuild your friendships! Focus on the people in your life who are always there for you. And make a note to self for when you find yourself a new partner: always make time for friends.
Surely, you have heard this before. But it can also be one of the hardest things to imagine when all you feel like doing is… nothing. We’ve all been there. And it’s totally fine to curl up with some comfort food and watch series. However, when you do nothing for too long, your thoughts can drift to all the wrong places, such as wondering what the other person could be doing right now, especially on the days when you used to meet up. Which may also lead to the biggest mistake in the history of relationships: drunk-texting your ex. Or something of that nature, which you’ll regret when you’re in your right mind again.
The way to clear your head and start feeling better about yourself is keeping yourself occupied. Other than work, it can be a hobby you once abandoned, online courses, reading, working out or something as simple, yet positive as cleaning your living space. Putting your focus on getting things done and improving your life will make you regain your power and confidence.
When to sign up for a new language course if not now? Again, use your time wisely! The pandemic surely limits our options, but there’s so much you can do without leaving home, like learning new languages or mastering new skills. If you never saw yourself as someone active, perhaps you could challenge yourself by giving a shot to one of these cool workout channels or apps? If you’re already someone who can’t sit still, start practicing mindfulness and meditation. Not a DIY person? Try a DIY project following an online tutorial.
The point is, use this time as an opportunity to expand your knowledge, challenge your comfort zone and reinvent yourself. In order to have fun and, when you feel ready and the circumstances allow, re-enter the world as a new and improved version of yourself.
Now, you shouldn’t rush into a new serious relationship, both for the sake of yourself and another person who might not enjoy the role of a temporary rebound. However, this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t explore your options, which will reassure you that there are plenty of fish in the sea and give a boost to your confidence. Under the current circumstances, the regular ways of “getting out there” and flirting with attractive people in real life is not as it used to be. What can you do about it?
Well, the answer is right in front of you;) Create a dating profile! Especially if it’s a territory you haven’t explored before. Meet other singles with similar interests and values, make new connections, get inspired and excited about someone again when you read their message when you wake up in the morning. Because, and you know it better than anyone else, you absolutely deserve it.