Let me take you on a little journey back in time. No, not years back where I tell you my life story, since I don’t have enough time OR patience to write my memoirs just yet. Besides, I’m still way too young and way too smart to dwell on the past – which a very special someone recently helped me remember;) So, for now, I am just going to open up about the most recent, and, frankly, quite exciting chapter of my life. It started with creating a profile on a senior dating site, took a twist with discovering SugarDaters, and is still continuing with… An exciting start of something completely new to me: I, a woman in her late fifties, am currently dating a much younger man. Which I guess makes me… a sugar mama! A lot to unpack here. So let’s start from the beginning.
Online dating was never something I seriously considered, I am old fashioned that way and prefer meeting people in real life. Creating a dating profile was something my daughter suggested once, an idea I found funny at the time, yet eventually revisited. How come?
A few months back, I started feeling a little lonely. The kind of lonely which people who are “socially distancing” alone, stripped from their usual social lives, I’m sure can understand. Even for those of us who are single by choice and are comfortable living alone, not being able to meet up with your friends, kids or even colleagues all of a sudden, not to mention a chance of running into a handsome stranger, can start feeling depressing as the time passes.
So, I ended up doing what people apparently are doing these days when they’re feeling lonely – look what other “singles in their area” are up to, haha. But where should I cast my net in the vastness of the online dating ocean to catch (or get caught by) someone I could have an interesting conversation with? More specifically, an attractive, confident, respectful and mentally mature gentleman, preferably with a sense of humor? I had questions, and Google had all the answers. Long story short, after looking here and there, a senior dating site appeared like a reasonable option for a woman my age. So, why not!
Feeling sexy in my soft robe in the wake of early morning in my kitchen, with a warm cup of coffee in one hand and my smartphone in another, I accepted the challenge for a brand new adventure – creating my first-ever profile on a dating site.
The unnecessary details aside, my “senior dating site” journey ended up being quite short. Why? The experience I personally had over the course of several days was a little, well, underwhelming. How come? I’ll just say it wasn’t for me.
They say men age like fine wine, don’t they? Well, the men who looked charming in their photos and appeared interesting in initial messages, turned out to be a little too similar to the types of men I already knew all too well. Including, but not limited to, the man I divorced. Maybe I was just having bad luck, but my hope to meet a mature, stable, handsome and not overly cynical gentleman with no apparent bad habits started to slowly, one message after another, fade away.
But I wasn’t ready to give up just yet.
So, here I was on Google again. Only this time, I decided to look into popular dating sites in general, and not necessarily for people over the age of 50. I stumbled upon a list of dating sites, which also featured SugarDaters. I had no clue what so-called ‘sugar dating’ was, so I signed up out of curiosity and quickly realized that all the men were much younger than me.
The idea of dating a younger man never really crossed my mind up to that point. Am I successful and generous? Well, in theory, I could be for someone if he gave me a good reason for it. But I didn’t really know how to feel about it, so I just closed my computer and went to sleep.
What I woke up to was a big surprise.
The sheer volume of messages that had already flooded my inbox was, quite frankly, overwhelming. How do I deal with this? I have a job and friends to meet on Skype. Do I need to hire an assistant?
Most of them I ended up never replying to, but one young man stood out in his first message already. We got talking, which came very naturally. He was in his late twenties, but we clicked despite the age gap. After some writing back and forth, we agreed to meet up for dinner. Just like that. As it turned out later on, it was a life-changing decision for both of us.
As of now, I don’t use any of the “senior” dating sites, since this man turned out to be more interesting, charming and even more mature than most of the guys “in my age group.” Who knows, maybe this will turn out to be something fixed. If it does, it will be something nice to continue when we can travel together and have more options for culture and entertainment. What if it doesn’t?
The man I met on SugarDaters reminded me the best thing about dating: living in the now and enjoying the connection as it comes, appreciating the other person, learning from each other and making the best of our time together.
It’s too soon to tell if this adventure will develop into anything long-term. What matters is that at this point in my life I get to enjoy the company of an intelligent, charming, attentive and considerate man who has a positive outlook, loads of energy, and uses every opportunity to make me laugh. And the sparks fly:)
Even if what we have will not evolve into a lifelong commitment, I know I will be fine. I am a grown woman, after all. There is one deal I made with myself though, and now it’s official: no matter what happens next, I won’t allow my age define my options or assume that the qualities I value can only be found in a man my age.
So, just in case, I haven’t deleted my SugarDaters profile just yet;)
The reason I wanted to share my story is mainly because I hoped another woman like me would read this. And my message is: if you are curious to give online dating a try in hopes of finding someone special and deserving of your time, there is no need to limit yourself with a particular age category. We are much more than our age!
This story was submitted by a member of SugarDaters who requested to remain anonymous. We thank her for sharing her truly inspiring experience!
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